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Monday, January 8th, 2007

Subject:happy new year bitch!
Time:8:29 pm.
Mood: giddy.
wow, it feels good to be on here again. its a new year and my only new years resolution is to be more true to myself. i think its a good one, and i think i can dominate it. i've been doing good. i wook at sears, sadly. in the shoe department to make things worse. i broke up with the bf i had. i haven't posted here in a long ass time. i need to update my shit. i still have the same profile that i had when i was 15 years old. and now when i read it, i realize how some shit was just not that funny now... anyways.. the other day i was hit by a illegal chex mex motherfucker... he backed right into me at a red light. who reverses at a red light? i found out a kid that i had hit in the head with a book in high school works at the starbucks i go to all the time at work. and that is not good news for him. cuz i go there all the time. for example, he was there when i went there just two days ago. and i told him very loudly to please not spit in my coffe or i would jump over the counter at him. right now i am hanging out with my homies, am about to smoke aother bowl so i must go. thats all for now fuckkers. peace!


~steph
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Thursday, August 17th, 2006

Subject:does anyone still read this thing??
Time:9:47 am.
Mood: accomplished.
if you do, i pitty you. well lets see, my birthday is comming up this saturday. in two days. thats kick ass. im going and getting a tattoo, and my mom is paying for it. sweet. im eating friut loops with marshmellows in them... its pretty good.... i got to go to work in a couple hours. oh yeah, i work at sears now... dont worry im not bragging about it either. but hey, its a job, and it pays me money. so thats always cool. im living out on the beach now with my mommy!!... i was living with my bf but our stupid nigger of a room mate tried to stab me, but its ok. little to his knowing, my bf had just baught me a semi-automatic .22 caliber rifle.... with a bannana clip that shoots off about 50 rounds.... i came out the door after he tried to kill me, and shot out his left kneecap.... and believe it or not, they never called the cops on me. i think it was because they knew he deserved it. his brothers were standing right there when i shot him, and they were standing right next to me as he was comming at me with a knife, and had no intentions to stop him from comming at me. so i thretined to shoot them too. i guess there is only one thing to say about that.... im a crazy bitch, and i WILL shoot you! thats all for now fuckkers...
<3 steph

p.s. matt im thinking of changing me little icon... contact me with more info.... love ya
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Friday, April 7th, 2006

Time:1:25 pm.
Mood: anxious.
this week sucked pretty bad. i got my car running and was driving it to work on monday and it stalled out on me. that sucked really really bad. i was stuck in the middle of lehigh morning rush hour traffic, getting cussed out. im begining to think my boss is a jackass. he still hasnt filled out my application form to put me on the payroll, but as long as he doesnt do that i get paid in cash every week, but hes been skimping me out money. so this week in wendsday when i do payroll, i photo-copied my time sheet for this week, and today when i get paid, if im jiped out money, im gonna walk right back into his office and show him my time card and be like "wtf is this?". and the reason i want to be on payroll is cuz i know i will be paid for the hours i work. i get paid $10/hr. this week i have 33 hrs. so that means i should be getting $330 today. last week i had 38 something hrs, and i only got paid $240. so i was pissed. and the only reason i didnt say anything last week was because i didnt have any proof. but now i do... -sigh- i have to go to a prom tonight. its the academys last prom because they are shutting the school down, and my friends are begging me to go. the prom theme is casino/vegas, which was perfect for me because i have a little red slut dress (its actaully a cocktail dress) and its perfect for the theme, plus ive been to vegas so i know what its really like there. and everyone just told me about it so i have to go from work to the mall to get shoes and accesories and then go all the way out to lehigh and then go back to michigan ave in ft. myers. today is going to be a clusterfuck for me. but i hope someone has lots of drugs and alcohol for me afterwards... well brittany piper just called me so im going to go. thats all for now fuckkers....
<3 steph
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Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Subject:im too nice
Time:10:28 am.
Mood: crappy.
me and my ass monkey were fighting again. over the same thing, again. but once i started talking about how i think its just best we go our seperate ways, he was all "im sorry, im sorry" so i told him we need a break, or well i need a break from him. i told him i need alone time. i just need to be by myself sometimes. i enjoy my own company... is there anything wrong with that?? i just want my time. i just like to sit by myself listening to music smokin a bowl... by myself. that way i dont have anyone bitching at me that they dont like a song or bitching at me to pass the bowl. i just sit there and do my own thing... what is so hard to understand about that?? well i need to call my dad today to tell him he needs to replace my battery in my car because me and scott are going on a break and im gonna need to drive my car to work. my stomach is fucking KILLING ME RIGHT NOW!!! im gonna go get some pepto-bismal... -sigh- my life sucks.... thats all for now fuckkers
<3 steph
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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

Subject:ALL YOU CAN EAT!!
Time:2:44 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
im gonna get everyone a spoon, so you can eat my ass.... but no double scooping dammit!! i need my ass.... at least i think i do... i dont even know if it looks good anymore... but i hear good things
<3 steph
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Subject:FREEDOM!!!
Time:9:54 am.
Mood: cheerful.
i am finally breaking up with my bf, finally freedom. i wont have his pathetic head up my ask asking me "how do you feel, you never make plans with me, why dont you share your feelings with me, thats what people who love eachother do" wtf is that shit. im 18 i dont want some assmonkey.... i just want to be alone and not tied down to anyone or anything. i just want to be free, i have a good paying job and i can do a lot of shit, and if i stay with him, im not gonna be able to save up my money cuz i have to pay for shit, and i never get to go and open an account, getting paid in cash doesnt help either. lol. but if i was just by myself i would be able to save up my money and then it will be just me and Ki Ki my chihuahua. thats it. and thats how i want it to be. i dont want something constantly getting mad at me because i dont feel like having sex, and then sit there like and throw a fit like a 5 year old when he doesnt get it. im so happy im done with this shit. so happy. well i will go now and be happy lol. thats all for now fuckkers...
<3 steph
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Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

Subject:bored
Time:2:18 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
im bored off my ass... i have nothing to do. this job sucks. but i get paid too good to give it up. $10/hr. to sit on my ass and answer phones. i think my job is so easy they could get an stupid no-english speaking beaner to do it. half the bitches that call me from other places dont even speak good english. i cant even understand them. but atleast i get to update my crappy lj. not like anyone reads it anyways... eccept matt... which is muchly appreciated. im happy when i go to my email box and see that i have a reply to my journal. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... ok not really but yeah. blah. every day it seems i get even more and more annoyed with my b/f. hes a jackass. he gets all pissy when i dont want to have sex and throws a little fit like a 5 year old. sometimes i just wanna look at him and say ""do you have balls??"" because i think he has a pussy, hes too emotional. he wants to know all my 'feelings' and wants to know why im 'distant'. i dont know, ive always been that way. ever since i can remember ive just never let in to people. i never share my emotions and feelings with people, unless they were my best friend. but even then it takes years before i even consider someone my best friend. and we have only been dating 5 months and he acts like we are married or something. hes too clingy. hes up my ass 24/7 i mean we even work at the same place. i get NO alone time. just to sit and be by myself and just listen to music. because he thinks thats annoying. i could sit and listen to music all day rather then sit there and watch movies over and over again, like he does. ive never been a movie person, unless it was a movie i really wanted to see. my family always watched primtime tv, and have certin shows we watch on certin nights. and now i have certin shows i watch on certin nights, and he gets all pissy. i dont want him to lay on me when we sit on the chouch, he gets pissy. sorry i dont want to be laid on because im not a fucking couch. shit like that pisses me off. if im joking around with him and he calls someone i like a dork, then i say "well i think your a dork", he says i have attitude, he gets pissy over everything. he gets pissy cuz when the alarm in the morning starts going off, i hear it. and then he keeps telling me to get up. im not a morning person, never was. im a bitch in the morning. if you keep yelling at me to get up im gonna tell you to shut your fucking mouth. im like that EVERY morning. and when he makes little comments like "yeah, it really looks like your getting up" i tell him to shut his fucking mouth. im a grown woman and i will get up when i feel like it. its like he wants me to be compleatly dependent on him. and im not that. im the exact oppisite. my mother was independent and as am i. hello i was raised in the 90's. this isnt 1964. where the woman tends to every mans needs. im the type of person you say something i dont like, i will say something about it to your face. his friends down talk me to my face right in front of him and he does nothing about it. then when we get in fights he throws shit in my face, shit i never asked him to do. i.e. i was low on cash around christmas and i wasnt going to be able to buy my sister, her b/f, and my dad a gift, so he took me to the mall and get them gifts for me. i never asked him to do that. i am very thankful for it, but if hes going to use it against me i would have told him never ever to do it. thats another reason i dont let people into my feelings, cuz in some way someone will use them against me. i think hes fucking with my head cuz i know he took physiology when he went to college. and hes telling me im doing all these things wrong, but he seems to be the only one mad when we get in fights. we are just too oppisite to be together. i want to break up with him NOW. but for right now hes my only ride to work. another thing that pisses me off, as if i dont have enough, is he always gloats, about everything. like when we went to miami on sat. for that concert, he was telling everyone 'we got a hotel room, my friend knows all the djs in the clubs, so we get vip in every club, we get this, we get that'. do people care that you have a hotel, no.(it was a roach hotel at that) do people care if you can get into the vip of the clubs, no. i dont even care. but for some reason he always makes it seem like im a bitch for that reason. I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING WORLD, not everyone cares. he tells everyone the same storys about shit over and over again. and ive heard every story about 15 million times. like for one, he tells everyone that this one time when he got arressted he was sitting in the back of the cop car on the way to jail while drinking a beer and talking on his cell phone... hes full of shit. i KNOW for a fact that is not true. no cop would jeperdize their job, just so he can drink his beer on the way to jail. he brags about how he knows all the cops, which is also bullshit. he brags about how he knows one of the doc's at lehigh memorail hospital. ok and?? my sisters b/f's mom is the head RN of lehigh memorial emergency room. does that make me anymore special. no. does him knowing that doc make him anymore special, no. but for some reason he thinks it does. he acts so superior to everone. thats the reason none of my friends talked to him when we hung out with them. then he tried to make me feel bad about hanging out with my friends. the only people we ever hang out with anymore are his friends. and when we hang out he acts like we have to be together, me and him can hang out with our seperate friends seperatly. we dont have to be together every fucking minute. he acts like we do. and if i was to make freiends to hang out with bridgette or something, he would put on his little pouting face and say "what, you dont want to be with me", and one of these times im gonna say "no, i wanna hang out with my friends without having to worry about you and if you are bored or if no one is talking to you... did he try to talk to anyone... NO! but my friends are the assholes. thats how people are in the park, if they dont know you and have never met you before, they wont talk to you, you have to talk to them and make yourself known. GOD HE FUCKING ANNOYS ME!! i could type forever on the shit that pisses me off about him. he gloats, he fucks with my head, he tries to make me feel guilty about shit i never asked of him, hes a fucking dork, and he has to sing to every song that comes on the radio, and he forces me to listen to rap. he thinks nin sucks, and they were bad performers, because he doesnt understand tr's artistic guru status. hes talking and dissin on shit he doesnt understand. when i said i cried when nin performed "hurt" he looked at me like i was a compleat retard, and said "uh, why?"..... ummmm maybe because that song means more to me than anything and to hear it and see it performed by the man i would sell my soul for made me cry. it ment a lot to me. it ment more than the world. then once i made a joking comment (not really joking but he doesnt know that, i didnt want to start another fight) about how if i had the chance to be with trent reznor, even for a one night stand that i would leave anyone i was with. he got all pissed... thats the reason i have a "what the fuck ever" type of attitude twards him. he takes everything too fucking personal. like when i yell at him in the mornings to leave me alone, that is an everyday thing, what would make anyother day different?? my sister is just like me and her b/f deals with it. he knows thats just the way she is and there is nothing he can do about it. so he accepts it. why can my b/f? umm maybe because hes from fucking micigan and people from up north are WEIRD as FUCK. its like sometimes i think they come from a compleatly different planet. or maybe all the snow did something to his brain, i dont know. but hes a fucking retard and im done with his drama, hes the one that starts all the drama anyways. i ask him what he wants for dinner, and he says hes not hungry, so i go ahead and make me and my sister something, then after we get done eating he goes and makes something, and then tries to makes me feel bad because i didnt do it for him, you got your chance motherfucker. i offered, and you didnt take it. is that my fault. no. if i ask him not to lay on me, he gets all pissy then goes to the other end of the couch and curls himself up into a ball as much as he can and then sits there with a pout look on his face and keeps looking at me every 3 seconds to see if im looking at him, i know he does it i can see out of the corner of my eye. its like dude, grow some balls. he says i use him. i never ask anything of him. EVER. i never ask him for a god damn thing and he tries to sit there and make me feel bad. fuck him. thats shit i dont need in my life, i felt more sane when i was living with my mom than i do with him. he says when he gets mad at me i dont give a fuck, cuz i dont. he says people who love eachother try to work out their problems, yeah but when you get mad at me because i dont want to be your fucking sofa, i dont want to try to fix that, i dont want to be laid on, whats to fix. i have a solution, dont lay on me. DUH! its like sometimes things done click in his head and hes a compleat retard. im beginning to get fed up with this shit. no wait, i already am. wow, i just did an over view of this whole post and it started out about work and now its about my jackass tit sucker called a bf. its like he cant get his mouth from the nipple. his tries to wedge his head so far up my ass. i go and take lunch with my sister, and he says 'why didnt you ask me to come?', because i want to go to lunch with my sister, so we can talk to eachother, 'so you can talk about me?' no just so i can talk to my fucking sister, and not have you look at me like a dork when we start laughing at inside jokes, just because you dont get them. its like wtf. -sigh- ok well i think im gonna go because i think everyone in my office is getting annoyed at how fast i type because i get a little loud. thats all for now fuckkers
<3 steph
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Monday, March 20th, 2006

Subject:Global Galthering 2006!! MOTHERFUCKKERS!!!
Time:8:56 am.
Mood: high.
omg i had the most awsome weekend. i went to consert in miami this weekend with fucking rob zombie and nin. it kicked fucking ass too... trent did a good performance, but he had just recently shaved his head, so he looked like shit.. that boy needs to grow his hair back out!! i had such an awsome time. we had a hotel and everything... during the day it kinda was sucky if you didnt have a blanket to sit on or a group of people to be with. thank god i did. i met up with bridgette and katlin. than jackie gave me her 21 and older wristband and i was able to buy alcohol... woot woot. rob zombie kicked ass, john 5 was playing guitar for him.... and twiggy a.k.a "jordie white" was playing for nin. it was kinda like a big reunion. lol. but john 5 got FAT! he looked really ugly now. he used to be attractive... but now.... ewww.... the only good bands were zombie and nin. i thought i wasnt gonna cry when he performed "hurt". but i did. i couldnt help it. but i will tell you what, i had a KICK ASS time. but then when i was standing around with nothing else to do, because all the day bands sucked, i took the time to notice that it was an alcohol sponsered event. and then i noticed a certin mr. TR is a recovering alocoholic.. but i dont care. they performed all my fav songs, the opened up with mr. selfdestruct.my b/f thinks they were the worst performers, thats how i know we are not ment to be. any man i will marry will love nin the same as i. i remember standing there not believeing i was seeing tr... it was so fucking kickass. i was all decked out in fluffy pot leaf lays. i got dehydrated during avenge sevenfold. and i blacked out. lol. hahaha, that is actually pretty funny to me. my b/f had to pick me up and take me out of the crowd and take me back to the blanket, then i layed there till rob zombie came out. i was so tired once it finally was over. even tho nin were the last ones to perform. i didnt leave till they were done, then i screamed for a half hour after they walked off... lol... i was going nuts, and now my voice sounds like a crackwhore. lol. its all scratchy. and my throat kinda hurts. and im still kinda deaf. i was pretty cloase when nin came out. and scott was putting me up on his shoulders. so i know trent reznor saw me. i saw him. and i saw twiggy a.k.a "jordie white" look at me. they know i exist. and that kicks ass, because im sure they saw me singing every word to every song, because i was... lol... well it wasnt singing, more like screaming like i was being raped... lol... i was going nuts. when they played burn i went fucking crazy. my b/f was kinda surprised he was looking at me like i was nuts. hes never seen me at a concert. im a compleatly different person, because i go fucking nuts. and i was jumping everywhere. march of the pigs was awsome, thats my ringer on my phone. and then they played suck, sin, burn, hurt, mr.selfdestruct, gave up, head like a hole, only, starfuckers inc., the hand that feeds, dont you fucking know what you are, and a bunch of others, they were so awsome, i was so excited. -sigh- i feel a sensation of compleation. like if i was to die, it would be ok now because i saw nin and my life is compleat. its a cool feeling. i like it. i feel wholeness... kickass. well i must go... remember the concert in my mind, while i sit here and do jackshit. its cool. hehe, well thats all for now fuckkers. bi bi....
<3 steph
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Monday, March 13th, 2006

Subject:blah
Time:8:38 am.
Mood: annoyed.
woot woot, this weekend i had fun. i hung out with bridgette, katlin and robbie for the first time in like almost 2 years. it was good hanging out again. i felt so comfy. like i belonged. my boyfriend however, was being an asshole. i guess because he didnt know anyone and no one was really talking to him. so i guess he was bored. sorry? i havent seen these people in a long ass time and im supposed to feel bad because he was bored and is now making a big deal out of it. i think the reason he was so mad was because me, katlin and bridgette had a threesome.... but if hes mad about that he can just get over it. that shit happened YEARS before i met him. so i think he can just go fuck himself. or lick my asshole. either will work. ive got to go get my car registered tomorrow... with my mother a.k.a incubator... should be an exciting day. ahhh lets see... anything new... i really have nothing else to talk about... just bitch about my b/f.. i think im going to break up with him anyways... its like hes a little girl sometimes. everytime we get in a fight its because he all of a suddon gets pissy because i dont want to cuddle. ive never been the cuddle type. or its because i dont share my feelings with him... lets see.... hmm, maybe the reason im like that is because ive been a depressed goth since i was 13 and im now 18 and ive never shared my feelings with anyone.. besides melissa, and that was just cuz she was my best friend way before the goth transformation.... i dont know... but im loosing my mind. hes always trying to make me feel bad for shit... shit that i dont even see me doing... i mean he acts like we are married. last night i denyed him sex... so he got all mad and started yelling and being an ass, and then sits there and says how much hes going to cheat on me, like its supposed to make me feel bad. see im a hard ass, and im irish. so i never see that im wrong. and i wont feel bad or guilty when i think im right. or when i think someone is just trying to be an asshole i.e - b/f. every time he tells me hes going to cheat on me i just say "yeah go ahead and do that, see where that will get you" because i dont feel bad. if im not in the mood for sex. im not in the mood for sex, thats just how it goes. god i could sit here for hours and just type away about how much he pisses me off. its like EVERY minute of the day we are together. we even work together now. so that just makes shit worse sometimes. but im not gonna let it fuck up my job. and even if we break up doesnt mean im going to quit my job. they even asked me that when i had my interview. i told them that i take work very seriously and i dont fuck around with it. life outside of work is outside of work. i dont let personal life get in the way of that. well i think im gonna go now. because i need a cigarette before i die. well thats all for now fuckkers... bi bi
<3 steph
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Sunday, February 6th, 2005

Time:4:31 pm.
Mood: high.
i talked to justin today. i havent talked to that kid in over a year. he just IMs me out of nowhere.. lol. ahh. this weekend i hung out with bridgette and katlin. wow, i finaly got to see katlins house, he has 90 cats, and his house smells like piss.. its gross. that boy needs to learn how to CLEAN. anyways. blah. im suppposed to go to some Superbowl party Bret is throwing. hes got some kind of mowhawk thing going on with his head. but its cool. well thats all for now fuckers
<3 steph
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Thursday, January 27th, 2005

Time:6:40 pm.
Mood:fucked up.
i love pills...
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Monday, January 24th, 2005

Time:6:45 pm.
Mood: high.
wow, its been a long time since ive been here.. ive been doing too many barz to even keep a memory long enough to even make a entry... so i guess what explains that... thats all for now fuckers...
<3 steph
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Thursday, December 2nd, 2004

Time:12:05 pm.
Mood: sick.
i got DSL on my computer now..... YAY! im sick.... and i feel like shit. but in happier news.... NIN re-released the downward spiral.... which i got, and the DVD as well. the DVD KICKS ASS if i do say so myself. but then again, it doesnt take much for me to like anything NIN puts out, just as long as TR is part of it. I went to my doctors the other day, turns out i have a heart murmur, and she diagnosed me with something else, but i forget what its called, i think it starts with an E.... but its something that has to do with my heart valves, they click... so that means i CLICK! my doc said she had the same problem and it shows up more in skinny girls... and well... im skinny. she said im part of the Click Chicks.. yes i know its corny.. but this is comming from a girl that spent most of her youth years in med skool... NO ONE WORRY.... its not serious... and im not gonna die... i just click! weeee.... thats all for now fucker.
<3 steph
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Thursday, October 21st, 2004

Time:10:12 pm.
Mood: tired.
one of my friends got expelled today. she got caught with 12 barz. because some little cunt snitched on her. now why did she go and do that. she knows shes going to get an ass beating for that one. im supposed to go to this haunted walk with diamond tomarrow night. i kind of dont want to. because im afraid that i will end up being in the same position i was in at halloween horror night at universial when i went with her. with my head on her back, with her forcing me to somewhat have my arms around her as she nested them on her boobs. not letting my hands go because shes freaking out about the midget in the wookie costume that ran out in front of her, which reminds me. i got my pictures from that night developed. but the ones i took of diamond and alana running from the guy with the chainsaw didnt show up. i was kinda mad about that. but ohwell. i guess the image will just burn in my shitty memory for all eternity. my b/f got suspended today for cussing out some bitch in the hallway. the same woman i have cussed out 15 million times before. hehe. well i must go. smoke. sleep. you know how it is. that all for now fuckers
<3 steph
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Friday, October 15th, 2004

Time:2:58 pm.
Mood: crazy.
i feel like i havent been here for ever. well maybe because i havent. wow a lot has happened in the past month is seems like. i moved yet again, this time for sure. because now there wont be anymore hurricanes comming. lets see... i have a b/f now. his name is Brett. we have been dating for about 2 weeks or so. he goes to school with me, so thats awsome. last weekend we fucked for what seemed like 3 hours, because brett was on beans. so long story short, i got my brains fucked out. and it was good. i was on barz last night. somehow i got down to ft. myers beach with a couple of my friends. it was weirdness. well after being gone almost a month, thats all i have to say, haha. thats all for now fuckers
<3 steph
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Wednesday, September 15th, 2004

Time:11:57 pm.
Mood: giddy.
out of all the years i have been a Trent Reznor freak.... i never knew he had an biograpy written about him... further more, im surprised i've never even seen websites about him mentioning it... weirdness.
<3 steph
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Saturday, September 11th, 2004

Time:6:24 pm.
Mood: drunk.
here we go... getting raped by hurricane Ivan... all i have to say is... BRING IT BIZZATCH!!

<3 steph
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Wednesday, September 8th, 2004

Subject:If I could have one wish, what would it be??
Time:8:38 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
i would wish for a line of coke that stretches from here to California... free base that shit
<3 steph
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Monday, September 6th, 2004

Time:1:42 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
i hate bleeding from my cervix. periods suck big nasty jenna jamson cunt... blah.... this is the first period i think im actully happy to have.... big weight lifted off my back...wew.. anyways... i get to lay in bed all day with my bottle of vicoden and my remote to my tv..... because i have cramps.... and they suck... well if worse comes to worse, im just going to staple my uterus to the wall to ajoin melissas uterus as well as her vagina. well i feel like someone is stabbing my abdomen with a ice pick so im gonna go...love love
<3 steph
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Sunday, September 5th, 2004

Time:7:11 pm.
fuck frances.
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